I
had not fully considered how the law of consecration applies to
marriage until I read chapter six in Goddard’s Drawing Heaven into Your
Marriage. Boy, have my eyes been opened!! I had a full-on “aha” moment
as I read his insight into how surrendering all that I have and all that
I am will equate to a victory in my marriage. Goddard says,
“Consecration is the only surrender which is also a victory. It brings
release from the raucous, overpopulated cell block of selfishness and
emancipation from the dark prison of pride.” (pg. 99) As I let these
words sink in and pondered upon them, I was struck by how simple this
concept is, and yet how hard it can be to employ.
I have been together with my husband since we were 16 and 17 years old. We were married at 19 and 20 years old and brought into our union a great deal of teenage drama, immaturity, selfishness, self-centeredness, and unrealistic expectations. I honestly felt that if he truly loved me he would want to give me everything. I felt that what was mine was mine and what was his was mine. It was easy for me to feel like my husband should surrender and allow me to take whatever I wanted that was his, such as his time, money, and talents, but also keep my time, money, and talents for myself. Because of this mentality we had some vicious, mean, and nasty knock-down, drag-out fights for many years in the beginning.
As time progressed, we grew and learned, we began to work through these seemingly insurmountable problems. I recognized that my husband needed to feel valued and appreciated and that he needed me to give more of myself to him. He began to see that I needed the reassurance and stability he provided for me and he began giving of himself more willingly. One strategy that has helped us become more selfless is anytime we begin to act greedy or selfish and begin to argue the other will say, “Same team!” This is our code word for deescalating conflict. It is a reminder that we are on the same side and not opponents. I am thankful for a marriage that has evolved into a partnership and that we care about one another enough to willingly sacrifice our time, talents, energy, and money to help each other.
After 21 years of marriage we are both much better at sharing more of ourselves although I realized I can still do more. Goddard says, " Those who experimented with His ways know...that the more they turn their lives over to God, the better their lives become. The ultimate joy is to surrender completely to God." (pg. 99) I know I can do more to think of my husband and I can ask for guidance from Heavenly Father to help me know how I can help him be happier, more cared for, and to express how much I appreciate all that he does for me. Our Father wants us to happy, successful marriages and by living the law of consecration we are making the reality of having a happy, successful marriage possible.
I have been together with my husband since we were 16 and 17 years old. We were married at 19 and 20 years old and brought into our union a great deal of teenage drama, immaturity, selfishness, self-centeredness, and unrealistic expectations. I honestly felt that if he truly loved me he would want to give me everything. I felt that what was mine was mine and what was his was mine. It was easy for me to feel like my husband should surrender and allow me to take whatever I wanted that was his, such as his time, money, and talents, but also keep my time, money, and talents for myself. Because of this mentality we had some vicious, mean, and nasty knock-down, drag-out fights for many years in the beginning.
As time progressed, we grew and learned, we began to work through these seemingly insurmountable problems. I recognized that my husband needed to feel valued and appreciated and that he needed me to give more of myself to him. He began to see that I needed the reassurance and stability he provided for me and he began giving of himself more willingly. One strategy that has helped us become more selfless is anytime we begin to act greedy or selfish and begin to argue the other will say, “Same team!” This is our code word for deescalating conflict. It is a reminder that we are on the same side and not opponents. I am thankful for a marriage that has evolved into a partnership and that we care about one another enough to willingly sacrifice our time, talents, energy, and money to help each other.
After 21 years of marriage we are both much better at sharing more of ourselves although I realized I can still do more. Goddard says, " Those who experimented with His ways know...that the more they turn their lives over to God, the better their lives become. The ultimate joy is to surrender completely to God." (pg. 99) I know I can do more to think of my husband and I can ask for guidance from Heavenly Father to help me know how I can help him be happier, more cared for, and to express how much I appreciate all that he does for me. Our Father wants us to happy, successful marriages and by living the law of consecration we are making the reality of having a happy, successful marriage possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment